Cellphone Drabbles
by lunanoel
Summary: Our first fanfic! Basically texting conversations by the countrys with a stolen phone. Human and country names used! plus two new OCs! rated T for swears and whatever else we decide on. DISCLAIMER: INSIDE!
1. Chapter 1: 12-21-12

**This is My First Fanfic. It only looks like this because this is actually a conversation I had with a friend via text-messaging. Hope you enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA, SKYRIM, OR THE WORD "JAPANISH"**

**12/21/12**

Prussia wrote "Ke ke ke"

I wrote back "Kryoto, did you kidnap Prussia?"

Prussia, who was on Kryoto's phone replied "Ke ke ke. Kryoto was kidnapped by AWESOME ME!"

I texted angrily "Damn it Prussia, give Kryoto back her phone or I'll sick Mafia Chibitalia on your ass."

Prussia wrote back, unafraid "Kees Kees little midgets do not scare someone of my AWESOME! They wouldn't dare with all the dirt I have in my Awesome diaries."

I decided to raise the threat "Ok, I'll send Mafia Italy, Mafia Romano, and Hungary, who'll be wielding a steel frying pan that'll smash your head."

Prussia replied, probably slightly frightened "…Now, now; no need to involve her. Evil pan wielding manly girl…tomatoes don't scare me!"

I questioned "the Mafia Italy and Romano are able to scare Hungary; you really think that that you can be any more powerful than she was against them?"

Prussia replied "Tch. Ja. Mien gott, get Spain to distract tomato boy, and West for wimpy. Awesome me and Kryoto will eat pancakes with birdy. Ke ke ke…"

-We shall skip the Christmas conversation-

I wrote "Kryoto, you're lucky you get to spend time with the Hetalia gang; I suppose Germany is there too?"

Kryoto, having taken her phone back, replied "He he. Strusal abound."

I asked "Pour quoi?"

Kryoto replied "Nevermind. Kiku and Alfred playing Skyrim in living room."

I wrote "They would. Did you finish reading the fanfic I suggested?"

Kryoto replied "Noop. England's too busy reminiscing and showing off America's baby pictures with my computer."

I asked "How far did you get into it?"

Kryoto replied "Chapter five. Kiku gonna make ramen after he kicks out England."

-We shall also skip the jeans conversation-

Poland, who like totally stole Kryoto's phone when we were in mid-conversation, wrote "Like totally. I was trying to tell Arthur. Fuck it. Too lazy to fix."

I questioned, thinking it was still Kryoto "so they're yours?"

Poland replied "Like no. Psh Poland doesn't like, wear jeans. Kryoto like, does though."

I wrote, realizing my mistake "So they're Kryoto's? Also, that's not true; you would wear pink jeans if you found them."

Poland, most likely surprised, asked "They like, make those?!"

I replied "If they did, you'd find them. Just see if there are any white skinny jeans, then dye them pink."

Poland mostly likely groaned and replied "But that would take like, work. I could make Liet do it…"

I asked, probably already knowing the answer "You could, but does Liet remember your sizes?"

Poland replied suggestively "…Oh yes :)"

I laughed and replied "Lol. How is your relationship with Liet? Is he your boyfriend yet?"

America, "rescuing" the phone from Poland, replied for no reason at all "I DON'T SPEAK JAPANISH!"

I laughed knowing America had taken the phone "Lol."

America replied, in his usual loud voice "KIKU TRIED TO KIDNAP TONI! MY BEST GALACTIC FRIEND TAKEN BY JAPAN! WHY?! THE HERO WILL SAVE THE DAY!"

I raised an eyebrow and replied "America, give Kryoto back her phone."

America asked "But I thought this was Poland's…Liet, is that you?"

I replied "Nope. It's Lumena, the country from under the sea, who wants to speak to Kryoto."

America wrote "OH! You mean that Kryoto chick that left with Gil and that creepy ghost. Sorry bro. They bailed for pancakes."

I groaned and asked "Damn. Do you know when they're coming back?"

America wrote back "Nah. They're catching a show and junk. OH SHIT! – *phone is taken by Britain* I apologize for Alfred's crass behavior. Dear Kryoto will return after making us a nice cup of earl grey."

I didn't know who had the phone now, so i wrote "Thank you Britain, or France, or whoever took the phone away from America."

Britain replied "That frog is far too uncouth to associate with someone as refined as Kryoto."

I questioned "So, she kicked him out before the party started?"

Britain replied "Indeed. Some comment about the lack of wine and a missing rose. I of course had the decency not to eavesdrop unlike people."

I complimented "That's very gentleman-like of you, Britain."

Britain wrote back "Why thank you my dear. Back in the day, th - *Britain is cut off by Prussia, who has once again awesomely taken the phone* HA HA! THE AWESOME ME HAS RETURNED."

I face-palmed, utterly failing at not trying to laugh, and wrote "Where have you been Prussia?"

Prussia replied " AWESOME ME and Kryoto went with Birdie to the store and w - *Prussia is cut off by Kryoto, who has finally taken back her phone* Hello Lumena, what did I miss?"

I wrote "Poland getting advice on pink jeans, America doing something stupid, and Britain being Britain."

Kryoto wrote back "Cool. Oh shit, France is at the door."

I suggested "Kick in the nads and he'll go away."

Kryoto wrote "But it's France!"

I wrote back "Then hit him in the head with China's wok and throw him back to Europe."

Kryoto wrote "China ditched. Taiwan promised to give up the goods."

I replied "You could just lock France in a room with Britain and see how it plays out via your hidden cameras. Tell them its seven minutes in heaven or something."

Kryoto wrote "He he. Oh yes. I like that idea."

I wrote back "Playing seven minutes in heaven with Hetalia characters and seeing how it plays out? I like that idea too."

Kryoto wrote "Hehe" and our conversation ended.

**FIRST CHAPTER IS DONE! THERE IS MORE TO COME! PLEASE REVIEW! And have a cookie *gives cookie***


	2. Chapter 2: 12-22-12

**CHAPTER 2 IS UP!**

**Lumena: Also, the Fanfiction we were talking about in Chapter 1 was "The BTT's Awesome Guide to Parenting" by PsychotiCaptain...I recommend it to anyone who wants to see Chibitalia.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA OR THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG**

**12/22/12**

Kryoto wrote "Well Lulu, we're not dead! Dooms day is over! Heading to go shopping with Kiku, Alfred, and Arthur. What are you up to?"

I wrote back "Watching a YouTube video. England's version of he's got friends on the other side."

I asked "Kryoto, did someone take your phone again?"

America, heroically stealing Kryoto's phone, replied "DUDE! Iggy has friends?! 0.o He cried when me and Matts were little…MUA HA HA! BLACKMAIL!"

I wrote "America, that's mean. Iggy tries really hard."

America wrote back "If Mattie's there, tell him I took his syrup. Again"

I wrote "Mattie's pissed at you now."

America asked "I DIDN'T MEAN IT! It just looked so tasty…He does try. And fails lol XD should I get Matts syrup for Christmas?"

I replied "Syrup and a new hockey stick. His old hockey stick broke after you stole it during hockey season."

America wrote "But the duct tape…IT HOLDS THE UNIVERSE TOGETHER! And hockey sticks :D"

I wrote back "The duct tape you used was ten years old and it was cheap. It only held the stick together for five weeks."

America asked "But we're supposed to be dead! Toni said so! He would have never known! Shouldn't the gifts be personal?"

I replied "America, if you got him something personal, you would just get him a hamburger for the third year in a row."

America wrote "YEAH! GOOD TALK! DID YOU KN *Japan snatches the phone away from America ninja-style* mushi mush Lumena. How are you today?"

I wrote back, not knowing who was on the other end "I'm fine. Thank you Britain."

Japan wrote "…I apologize. I did not realize this was Briton's phone. I will ask Alfred why he had it."

I wrote back "No, that's okay Japan. I just hadn't known who had taken the phone from America. I apologize."

Japan asked "That is ok. What are your plans for the Christmas season?"

-Skip my reply-

Japan wrote "That sounds nice. I will likely stay home to prepare for New Year's."

I asked "I thought America was going to force you to go to his Christmas party?"

Japan replied "Eto…that is…I did not plan to go."

I wrote "No one ever does until America gives them the puppy eyes."

Japan wrote back "They are quite adorable and persuasive."

I wrote "And that's why you always end up at his parties every year."

Japan wrote back "…True. I apologize. I must return the phone to Britain. We have arrived at the store."

I wrote "That's fine but that's actually Kryoto's phone."

Japan wrote "Really? Oh my…that's unfortunate. Umm…*America takes the phone again* YOU NEVER SAW ME!"

I wrote "Has America taken the phone?"

**SECOND CHAPTER DONE! Don't you just love how we always get cut off in mid-conversation? AWAIT FOR CHAPTER 3...AND FOR STAYING THIS LONG, YOU GET PIE! *gives pie***


	3. Chapter 3: 12-27-12

**CHAPTER 3 HAS COME!**

**Lumena: We haven't had many long conversations in the last few days so sorry for the wait.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA OR THE OCS THAT COME WITH IT (example: Scotland or Ireland). I ALSO DO NOT OWN ASDF OR YOUTUBE! I DO HOWEVER OWN Lumena (while one of my friends owns Kryoto)**

**12/27/12**

Kryoto demanded "Entertain me. These drunk fools have begun to bore me."

I asked "How on earth can a bunch of drunk Hetalia characters bore you?"

Ireland, swiping the phone from Kryoto while taking another swig of alcohol, replied "My English siblings are sticks in the muds that can't handle real Irish ale."

I asked "I can see how that can be annoying. But can't that also be entertaining?"

Ireland replied "If they didn't keep disrespecting me culture and pride. Just because some *bleeps out these words* artist type can't be bothered to draw a *bleeps out these words*. Rly shaded caricature of my majestic visage doesn't verify my existence. IRELAND LIVES!"

I wrote "Yes Ireland, I know you live. That is something I discovered ages ago."

Ireland wrote back "Good on ya lass. You have a step up on that American goat. Screamed and ran when he saw me he did."

I wrote "Must've thought he'd seen a ghost. Because of the constant fighting between you, Britain isn't known to talk about his siblings."

Ireland wrote back "Heh, the pansy's too scared to talk about me! Knows I'll come after him if he does! Why back in my day *Scotland proceeds to take the phone from Ireland* wakwjwa"

I asked "Who now has control of the phone?"

Scotland replied "I couldn't help but notice the we Irish lass hackin' away at the mobile, then figured I ought to save the English rat's pride."

I complimented "Good job Scotland."

Scotland wrote back "Thank ya lass. Just doin' the right of it!"

I asked "Does that mean that England noticed Ireland texting as well and was upset that he couldn't get the phone away from her?"

Scotland replied "Oh no. He's still an unobservant English rat. I would have let im roast, but some things ought not be shared outside the family."

I asked "So Ireland was about to spill a family secret?"

Scotland replied "She tends to mouth off when she gets the hard stuff. That's all she orders a course."

I asked "Would you really expect anything less?"

Britain, stealing the phone from Scotland, replied "NOT IN MY FAMILY!"

I asked "Who has the phone now?"

Britain replied "THE GREAT BRITISH ISLES! SCOTTY THOUGHT HE COULD HIDE THE BRANDY! HA HA HA"

I wrote "I think Scotty tried to hide the brandy so you couldn't find it."

Britain wrote back "YOU KNOW I WAS A PIRATE! I CAN SMELL THE BURBON ON THE SALTED WIND OF THE GREAT LADY!"

I rolled my eyes and wrote "Britain, I think you need to sit down and have some water."

Britain wrote back "ONLY THE WATERS OF THE MOTHER PACIFIC! ALL HANDS ON DECK! LAND HOOOOOooooooooooo jdaw"

I asked "Britain, is this about America again?"

Russia, who has the phone for reasons unknown, replied "I will assume by the 'Property of Kryoto' sticker, this is her phone da?"

I asked "Yes it is Russia, but how did you find the phone?"

Russia replied "I saw it fall out of England's pocket and figured it would make a good ransom"

I asked "Was he sulking about something?"

Russia replied "Niet. He was unconscious. Scotland was dragging the пьяный to his ride."

I wrote "Then either he drank too much brandy or I've succeeded in mentally torturing him. Or both."

Russia wrote back "Drunkards pass out differently than someone mentally destroyed. I know the difference. Silly people use words when a pipe is so much more effective."

I wrote "Yes but using words is easier than finding a good enough pipe."

Russia wrote back "There is a bar fight I must join. Good Bye."

I wrote "Later."

**CHAPTER 3 IS DONE! THANK YOU FOR THOSE WHO HAVE READ THIS FAR! I GIVE YOU PIE! *gives Pie* IT'S PIE FLAVOR! (if you don't understand this reference, watch the asdf videos. if you do get this reference, you're obviously knowledgable to most things posted on YOUTUBE!)**

**Translations:**

**Niet (Russian): No**

**пьяный (Russian): Drunk**


	4. Chapter 4: 12-28-12

**Chapter 4**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN HETALIA AND I NEVER WILL. I ONLY OWN MY OC, Lumena (while my friend owns the oc known as Kryoto)**

I asked "Have any of the countries tried to steal your phone?"

Prussia, taking Kryoto's phone, replied "I'll make you cry like a little lady man boy. Ke ke ke!"

I asked "Prussia! What brings you to the phone of Kryoto for like the sixtieth time?!"

Prussia replied "Ke ke! Just planning to kick that wimp Austria's ass again! He can't stand up to this much awesomeness again!"

I asked "You realize he has a larger army than yours right?"

Prussia replied "Tch. Not without man girl Hungary to help him!"

I wrote "Prussia, you have no army."

Prussia wrote back "Tch. That's what you think!"

I asked "Who do you have besides Gilbird?"

Prussia replied "The awesome secret clone army hidden in west's basement!"

I asked "Did Kryoto approve of letting you use her cloning machine or did you steal it from Estonia?"

Prussia replied "Stealing is unawesome. I borrowed without Japan's permission!"

I wrote "Prussia that's stealing"

Prussia wrote back "It's awesome borrowing!"

I asked "What if Japan is looking for his cloning machine and can't find it? Don't you think he's going to be upset?"

Prussia replied "He won't know it's me!"

I wrote "I meant he'd be upset that it's missing."

Prussia wrote back "Maybe the Asian noodle could grow a pair! The awesome me does not cry!"

I wrote "Japan probably wouldn't cry, he'd just look upset. I don't think Japan has ever cried."

Prussia wrote back "Not that you've seen. Ke ke ke."

I wrote "Oh like you have."

Prussia wrote back "Ke ke ke *Germany steals the phone* Ah. Hello. Do you happen to know where all these clones of my bruder came from?"

I replied "Prussia took Japan's cloning machine and has cloned himself in order to beat up Austria."

Germany wrote "Ah, that idiot. I'll give him a good talking to."

I wrote back "Please tell him the difference between borrowing and stealing."

Germany wrote "Yes. He frequently 'borrows' mein beer."

I wrote back "Could be worse; he could've borrowed from Russia."

Germany wrote "Oh he's tried *Russia takes the phone* :) sunflowers ought not be borrowed."

I asked "Why would he want to borrow sunflowers?"

Germany, having taken the phone back from Russia, replied "I don't know. For Hungary? He's always fighting Austria to impress her da?"

I asked "Can't he just ask her out like a normal person? It confuses me that he doesn't try to just confess?"

Germany replied "Ech. He's complicated, and not as obvious as Feli."

I asked, not knowing who it was "Is this Germany I hear or is it Russia?"

Germany replied "it's Germany. Italy is more open with his feelings than Gilbert."

I wrote "Yes, and that will be his downfall. Hungary won't realize or say anything about his love if he doesn't admit it."

Germany wrote back "Da. Mein bruder is an idiot, but he is mine. He is banging on his basement door. I must barricade the door to keep the clones back."

I wrote "K. See ya."

**Chapter 4 is done! Interesting fact: the german word for idiot is in fact the word idiot! aren't the germans creative? please review and have a cookie *leaves an open cookie jar***

**Translations:**

**Bruder (German): Brother**


	5. Chapter 5: 12-29-12

**I apoligize for how short this chapter is! and to everyone who has written reviews, you get virtual glomps *GLOMPS***

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA, TERMINATOR 2, OR THE HOBBIT. I ONLY OWN MY OC, Lumena (while my friend owns the oc Kryoto)**

**12/29/12**

Kryoto wrote "Guess what I'm watching Lumey!"

I wrote back, questioningly "Terminator 2 or the Hobbit?"

Kryoto replied "I'm in the hobbit! The girls are with me too!"

I wrote "Awesome! How did you convince Belarus to come?"

Kryoto wrote back "Promised I'd rig it so she'd get Russia at the party…"

I wrote "That's a lie though."

Kryoto wrote back "She won't know that. And we don't have to tell her where it is!"

I wrote "She was invited."

Kryoto wrote back "…Shit."

I wrote "Well at least she can scare the pants off the people she did get paired up with."

Hungary, swiping the phone from Kryoto, replied "Who on earth is Kryoto texting in the middle of a movie!"

I asked, not knowing who took the phone "Is that you, Belarus?"

Hungary replied "No. This is Hungary speaking!"

She was one of my other guesses, so I wrote "You were my first guess."

Hungary wrote back "I must request you stop texting at once! Kryoto can text you later. You're both disrupting the movie!"

I wrote in apology "Sowwy."

Hungary wrote back "That's ok. Just don't do it again."

I wrote back "Ok."

**Sorry this is short! the party mentioned earler is the second book we're working on. the pairs have been picked and now all we have to do is actually write. there is more to come! thank you!**


	6. Chapter 6: 12-30-12

**CHAPTER 6 IS UP! HAPPINESS!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA. I ONLY OWN THE OC Lumena, WHILE MY FRIEND OWNS THE OC Kryoto.**

**12/30/12**

I asked "How was hanging with the Hetalia chicks?"

China, who has Kryoto's phone for one reason or another, replied "Why you disrupt my happy mu shu palace aru!"

I wrote "It seemed like the right thing to do."

China wrote back, probably angry "I find package on my lawn! Look inside, what I find? Japanese anime! What this shit aru!"

I asked "Who sent it to you?"

China replied "It got your name on it aru!"

So that's where that went...I wrote "I think it was meant for Kryoto. Her house isn't too far from yours."

China wrote back "I know that! That why she has my phone!"

I wrote "No, this is Kryoto's phone. Didn't you see the 'Property of Kryoto' sticker on it?"

China wrote back "Paa, could be anybody's. She also has my wok aru!"

I wrote "Is France in the area?"

China wrote back "I kick his ass! Keep trying to order take out aru!"

I wrote "That would be why Kryoto's taking precautions."

China wrote back "No its blackmail! She take my wok so I give phone. She want phone because I give anime to Japan to steal phone."

I questioned "So you stole her phone and she stole your wok?"

China replied "I steal her phone to give to France. He want to stalk her! I give phone so he stop ordering take-out aru!"

I questioned "You realize that really isn't going to stop him from ordering take-out right?"

China replied "It worth a try, no?"

I questioned "True, but you also realize that Kryoto is psychotic and loves her phone right?"

China asked "Then why it stolen so often aru?"

I replied "Because countries like making her angry"

China wrote "I did not mean to make her angry! She nice girl aru!" (K-chan: I felt the need to defend myself!)

I wrote back "I know she's nice. People just like to mess with nice people for no reason sometimes and it kinda pisses me off." (Lulu: I know and I'm sorry. I adore you Kryoto!)

China wrote "That very true and sad. I think Kryoto at door! I must hide! Zaijian aru."

I wrote back "Good luck."

Kryoto, her phone somewhat safely returned into her posession, wrote "'Ouch' town population: China. Revenge has been had!"

I wrote back "K."

**CHAPTER 6 IS OVER! See this was longer than the last one! you all get cookies *gives cookies* please review! we love it when you review! also K-chan is Kryoto and Lulu is Lumena...I was being mean and I am sorry! :)**

**Translation:**

**Zaijian (Chinese): Goodbye**


	7. Chapter 7: 1-5-13

**Hello! sorry this took so long, but it's hard to have long conversations during the actual week. As a reward, we made this a longer chapter than usual!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA, AMNESIA, AMNESIA WHITE KNIGHT, GRUDGE, GPS, THE IPHONE (seriously, i don't), OR CARE BEARS (mine all went to charity). I DO HOWEVER OWN MY OC, Lumena (while my friend owns her OC, Kryoto).**

**1/5/13**

I asked "How's it going Kryoto?"

Kryoto replied "I'm good. I feel like there's something in my house though. I should stop watching 'amnesia let's play'"

I wrote "I felt the same thing at my house. Then again, I always feel like that."

Kryoto wrote back "You live with it. But I sent Ludvig to investigate with Japan and America. They're going through my creepy basement."

Kryoto wrote "I'll go give Alfred the phone."

I wrote back "K"

America, who has been actually given the phone this time, wrote "MATTIE! PLEASE TELL ME THAT'S YOU! SAVE ME!"

I asked "It's not but I can take a message for him. What happened?"

America replied "I'M IN KRYOTO'S BASEMENT! THERE'S A FUCKING GHOST!"

I asked "What does it look like?"

America replied "I DON'T KNOW! ALL WE CAN HEAR IS A PIPE DRAGGING ON THE CONCRETE AND THE DOUBLE RAINBOW SONG! We've gone through five hallways…it's just like amnesia!"

I wrote "I think your 'ghost' in just Russia, who got lost in Kryoto's house while trying to leave after his last visit."

America wrote back "BUT IT'S SCARY! *Japan swipes the phone ninja-style* Excuse me, do you happen to know anything about exorcisms?"

I wrote "No, but I can research them online."

Japan wrote back "America-kun and Mr. Germany ran away after a door closed behind us and the lights went out. Unfortunately, our phones were also dead. Luckily America dropped this phone as he ran away crying."

Japan wrote "For a country that produced so many video games, he sure is a wimp."

I wrote back "You forget how he is with horror films."

Japan wrote "I know! He tries to hide in my shirt! Why does he insist on watching them!…The lights came back on."

I wrote back "It was probably just a power outage. Either that or someone turned the electricity off."

America, gaining control of the phone again, wrote "THERE IS A SCARY GHOST CHILD LIKE IN GRUDGE! OH SHIT!"

I texted back sarcastically "Have you tried splashing some holy water and saying 'be gone demon!'"

Japan, somehow regaining the phone, wrote back "I am running! How can a basement be so large! I found Russia! Safety! He has America too!"

I asked "You realize how large Kryoto's house is right? And why is Russia chasing you?"

Japan replied "Is not chasing me! Scary grudge child is! Russia is keeping it back while we find a door! They lost Germany somewhere, but Ivan's been down here for a month and he still hasn't found the entrance, what are our chances? This phone fell from the ceiling for Christ's sake!"

I asked "That's not very surprising. You practically need a GPS to get out of the basement. Is Kryoto near?"

America, conjuring up the phone the way only an American can, replied "OH MY GOD! MY IPHONE DIED! GERMANY'S PROBABLY DEAD! KIKU'S UNCONCIOUS AND THE COMMIE'S GETTING THE SHIT BEAT OUT OF HIM! I'M GONNA DIIIIIIEEEE!"

I wrote "Try asking Kryoto for something that will get rid of the ghost. I triple dog dare you so you have to do it."

America wrote back "BUT THIS IS HER PHONE!? THE STICKER SAYS SO! HOW CAN I!?"

I wrote "Try the laundry chute."

America asked "What's a laundry chute?"

I replied "Laundry chute. You know, it's a kind of chute you put laundry in from a higher floor so it can reach the laundry room, which is usually in the basement."

America wrote "THANK YOU! I'll try it…Kiku's heavy."

I wrote back "That's normal. You're most likely exhausted and Kiku has the weight of an ordinary person."

America wrote "BUT I'M THE HERO, I CAN'T GET TIRED AND I WON'T GIVE UP!"

I wrote back "Then use that superhuman strength England used to brag about when you were a kid."

America wrote "I WILL! I WIIIILLLLLLL!"

I wrote back "Good."

America wrote "Omg! She heard me! She opened the door! I CAN SEE THE LIGHT!"

I wrote "Good work America."

Kryoto, grabbing the phone from America, asked "Umm…Lulu…Why are Ivan, Alfred, and Kiku covered in blood?"

I replied "Apparently the child from grudge came to visit you and couldn't find a way out. Either that, or they were all hallucinating and ended up hurting each other."

Kryoto asked "THEY FOUND LILITH! I locked her down there when she tried to eat my pancakes…That was three years ago…Holy crap…Wait, where's Germany?"

I replied "He's still with Lilith."

Kryoto asked "Really? But I thought he and Feli…"

I replied "Not that way. Germany got lost from the group earlier, so he's still probably being chased by Lilith. If I remember correctly, she can't talk very well right?"

Kryoto asked "She speaks Japanese so what was Kiku's problem?"

I replied "You threw her in the nearly foodless basement and she's been there for three years. And if I remember correctly, that basement does not a bathroom."

Kryoto wrote "Ehh…There's a broken one…I gotta make America watch a Care Bear Movie so he calms down. Janay!"

Me wrote back "Bye."

**CHAPTER 7 END!**

**Lulu: Kryoto was actually playing Amnesia White Knight while we were writing this. also, her basement is rather large and very creepy. Only the floor is finished.**

**K-chan: You could totally hide a body or five down there**

**Lulu: She would'nt have bodies in her basement though.**

**Review please!**


	8. Chapter 8: 1-9-13

**Hello! THIS IS CHAPTER 8! If you were looking for chapter 7, you went too far. Enjoy and possibly review!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA, YOUTUBE, THE GERMAN SPARKLE SONG, PEWDIEPIE, TOBOSCUS, ZOMBIEU, HANNAH MONTANA, JUSTIN BIEBER, T-PAIN, HATSUNE MIKU, MEGURINE LUKA, THE SONG 'CALL ME MAYBE', AND/OR JOE DASSIN. I ONLY OWN MY OC, Lumena (while my friend owns her oc, Kryoto)**

Kryoto asked "Hey Lulu, have you ever wondered how people get famous on the internet?"

I replied "I assume the answer would be Youtube."

Kryoto asked "Well Germany is famous for the sparkle song, Sweden for Pewdiepie, and America for Toboscus. How do I get famous?"

I asked "Ever tried asking America?"

Kryoto replied "I'm playing ZombieU. You ask him."

America, swiping the phone from Kryoto 'heroically', wrote "WEAR BOOTY SHORTS!"

I asked "That's how countries get famous online?"

America, replied "…That's how Hannah Montana did it…Ask Mattie, he has that Bieber kid…"

I wrote "Mattie said not to talk about that."

America wrote "Ok, ok…AUTO TUNE!"

I wrote back "I like this idea."

America wrote "YEAH YEAH! LIKE T-PAIN!"

I wrote back "I was just thinking about techno music. T-pain is up for debate."

America asked "Like that…Vocaloid-thing? The teal girl?"

I replied "Yes, Hatsune Miku would be perfect!"

America wrote "You'd have to ask Kiku. I'LL GO GET HIM!"

I wrote back "Ok."

Japan, after being handed the phone, asked "Umm…Hello? Who is this? Can you tell me why America looks like someone gave him another rock star drink?"

I replied "This is Lumena, the country that isn't in the stars but has plenty of rocks. America and I want to know if we can borrow Miku for a song we're making."

Japan asked "Ehhh…She's busy, but Luka is free. I thought Kryoto had already met her. Why did America show up in a Rainbow Taxi?"

I replied "Because America is America. And thank you, Luka would be great."

Japan asked "Ahh…Would Saturday work? What is the title of this song?"

I replied "Hmm…What about 'the Cry of Kryoto'? Also Saturday could work."

Poland, stealing the phone from Japan with the help of Lithuania, wrote "That's like, so lame. If you're going to be like, famous, your songs should be catchy and stuff!"

I asked "Well, what would you suggest Poland?"

Poland replied "Something, like FABULOUS! Like 'The Colors of Kryoto' or 'Call Me Kryoto Maybe'"

I wrote "That second one would be a rip off of an American pop song, so let's go with 'The Colors of Kryoto'"

Poland wrote back "Ok! Let's do this! I'll go, like, make costumes. Let me like, give the phone to someone, laters!"

France, receiving the phone from Poland, asked "Um…Ello? Who es these?" (K-chan: French Accent Fail x.x)

I asked "This is Lumena, the country under the sea. How's the life of the country of Amour going along, Francis?"

France replied "It's tres manifique! What do I owe le pleasure of having Mister Poland's phone?" (Lulu: I forgot how to spell mister and a lot of other things in both French and English and gave up after a while.)

I wrote "Actually, it's Kryoto's. Poland needed to hand the phone over to someone so he could make costumes."

France asked "What is le petite mushroom up to now?" (K-chan: Think really cute mushrooms, like red with white spots. Not hallucinogenic ones, Idiots.)

I replied "Poland, Kryoto, and I are working on a song to make Kryoto known to the world."

France wrote "I've been known to make a provocative video or two in my time. Oh ho hon! Just ask Joe Dassin!" (K-chan: Seriously, look him up, it's hilarious. Exano tu existe pa. 80s beauty.)

I wrote back "I'm guessing that you want to help too?"

France wrote "Oui! Very much! I will go work on le choreography! Au Revior!"

I wrote back "Ok, bye."

**THE END OF CHAPTER 8! Aren't you excited? we may or may not have a video for Kryoto!**

**K-chan: 'may not have'?**

**Lulu: It all depends on if we have time.**

**PLEASE COMMENT/REVIEW/KEEP READING OUR STUFF!**


	9. Chapter 9: 1-11-13 DOUBLE CHAPTER!

**CHAPTER 9 HAS GRACED YOU WITH IT'S PRESENCE! and because I didn't post this yesterday, it's become a double chapter! that means it's double the fun you usually get out of reading this! HURRAY! **

**Lulu: also, just because i want your opinion, do you think one of the members of our trio of madness should have one of those letter blogs? you know, the ones where people send in PMs and the country they write to replies from the fanfic? I just want to know because it seems like a popular thing right now, so please tell us via reviews!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA, PORTAL, OR PORTAL 2. I ONLY OWN MY OC, Lumena, WHILE MY FRIEND OWNS HER OC, Kryoto.**

**1/10/13**

I questioned "Kryoto, who is Lilith?"

Kryoto replied "Um…I don't think I can legally answer that."

I questioned "You adopted a kid, didn't you?"

Kryoto replied "Um…Witness protection told me to say no when I called…Here's Mattie, bye!"

I questioned "Kryoto…What's this about the witness protection program?"

Canada, who had the phone thrown at him and had miraculously caught it without any damage, asked "What? Did Alfred get into trouble again? Who is this? Do you know why Kryoto left without her T-shirt?"

I replied "This is Lumena. No, Alfred's not in trouble, I think Kryoto is though. I don't know why she left the house without a shirt, but hopefully I won't see any pictures of her online without one."

Canada wrote "Well, she had her bra back on so…never mind…"

I questioned "Matthew, what were you and Kryoto doing? *menacing aura*"

Canada replied "Eh…Cooking? ."

I asked "Then why wasn't Kryoto wearing a bra or shirt?"

Canada replied "Spill?...On another note, did you finish Portal 2 like Alfred told you to?"

I wrote "I've watched the ending of Portal 2 many times without Alfred bugging me about it."

Canada wrote back "I was disappointed by the lack of cake."

I wrote "You were not the only one."

**1/11/13**

I asked "How is Lilith?"

Kryoto replied "Lilith is dead."

I asked "How?"

Kryoto replied "Death…"

I asked "I know, how did she die?"

Kryoto replied "With death"

Russia, being handed Kryoto's phone, asked "Have you seen my sunflower?"

I replied "No Ivan, I have not seen your sunflower."

Russia wrote "Damn…"

I asked "Who do you think has it?"

Russia replied "…The Turkish Republic of Cyprus, he was eyeing it suspiciously"

I asked "0.o Really?"

Russia replied "…yes"

I wrote "Try looking for him first and if he doesn't have it, try finding Prussia or France."

Russia wrote back "…Belarus has sent me an instagram."

I asked "What does it say?"

Russia replied "…I have it."

I wrote "Then you know who has your sunflower, Ivan."

Russia wrote back "…da. Good bye friend of Kryoto."

I wrote "Good bye, Belarus' crush"

America asked "YO BRO! What's the commie up to? He looked…Soviet."

I replied "He's getting one of his most prized possessions away from a very scary young lady."

America asked "Who? What'd they take? Can I get in on the action?"

I replied "Belarus took Russia's sunflower and Russia has gone to get it back."

America wrote "I ain't goin' near that."

I wrote back "I didn't think you would, Alfred."

America wrote "Heh, but I can get Mattie to do it!"

I groaned and wrote back "Alfred, Mattie has enough things to deal with without you throwing him into a sibling affair."

America asked "Wait...Affair? Are we talking incest o.o We promised we would never get involved with that again..."

Me replied "Things that happen between two siblings, romantic or not, are called sibling affairs. This situation would be similar to Mattie stealing one of your hamburgers."

America wrote "He did WHAT! MCRONALD IS MINE!"

I wrote back "That was an example! He really wouldn't do that I promise!"

America wrote "I've gotta call on reinforcements. Alpha hero out." (K-chan: Please feed the starving author. The only thing we can eat, is the only thing you can give. Review and save some literature. If "when" we get 15 reviews, I will write the McRonalds Retrival conversation)

I replied "K..."

CHAPTER 9 IS OVER! PEOPLE WHO REVIEWED ALREADY, YOU GET CAKE! because who wasn't disappointed when Portal 2 didn't have cake? I mean really, you can't offer cake as a reward without actually having it! Cake was the motivation in Portal, but they probably ran out of it by the time Portal 2 came along, so they just said "Screw it" and didn't allow cake anymore! Aw well, I'll save the rant for another day.

Lulu: Lilith is dead! I only knew for two chapters but I will miss the child I never really knew about. Also, i think i got Mattie in trouble. I'll try to hide him as best as I can before Alfred does something nuts!


	10. Chapter 10: 1-14-13

**THIS IS CHAPTER 10! THANK YOU TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO REVIEWED! This is just a regular chapter, though it tells you a bit more about our amusing lives (mind you, it's only a bit, don't expect too much). Also at some point in time, Faresia may try to write her own story using this account, so look out for it.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA. I ONLY OWN MY OC, Lumena, WHILE MY FRIENDS OWN THEIR OCS, Kryoto and Faresia.**

**1/14/13**

I questioned "How're the skies Kryoto?"

Kryoto replied "It's cold. It's colder than Russia's ice box!"

I wrote "That's cold."

Korea, somehow gaining Kryoto's phone, wrote back "Paint was invented in Korea, Da ze!"

I questioned "What are you doing with paint, Korea?"

Korea replied "I painted a puppet of China!"

I questioned "Is it cute or creepy?"

Korea replied "China is 귀여워, Da ze."

I wrote "I meant the puppet."

Korea wrote back "Is. CHINA Is. CUTE DA ZE!"

I wrote "I know China is cute, Korea."

Korea wrote back "You best! I go open gangnam style on yo ass if you don't da ze!"

I wrote "Ok."

Korea questioned "You ever try paint? Is colorful and wonderful!"

I answered "Yes, I've used paint before."

Korea questioned "What you make? Canada doll da ze? I know you got shots for him. Though not as super sexy as China…"

I replied "Yes, I've used paint before, but paint isn't used just for puppets; it can also be used for painting. And I advise you stay with China and avoid the love triangle formed around Canada."

Korea questioned "What triangle o' love?"

Me replied "The one involving me and Kryoto fighting over Canada."

Kryoto, getting her phone back, wrote "I saw the look on Korea's face. You're talking about MY Mattie aren't you?"

I questioned "You already have Germany, why do you want Canada?!"

Kryoto wrote "I gave Germany to Italy for his birthday. Mattie its mine! Although Ivan was…"

I wrote back "Even if Germany is with Italy now, you still have a whole harem of guys to pick from, remember?"

Kryoto wrote "I seem to have no idea of what you speak of. Explain crazy Lady."

I wrote back "At some point in time, you, Faresia, and I had a sleepover at my house and made three lists to determine who would have what guy to choose from as boyfriend material. You have the longest list."

Kryoto wrote "Oh…Yeah. Is my bed time. Timothy said so. Goodnight Lulu!" **(K-chan: Timothy is my cute butler robot. He is blue and small and floats on the ground and has little round panda ears!)**

I wrote back "Ok. Night."

**END! Information learned: We fight over characters in Animes to be our boyfriends. it's probably something you would do/are doing too, so you no judge please! Also, Kryoto has a robot butler that from now on, I'm going to call "Tim" because his name is Timothy. AGAIN THANK YOU TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO READ AND REVIEW! WE ADORE YOU PEOPLE! PLEASE REVIEW! ALSO TRY CHECKING TO SEE IF Faresia POSTS ANY STORIES ON THIS ACCOUNTS!**

**Translations:**

**귀여워 (Korean) - Cute**


	11. Chapter 11: 1-17-13

**A chapter written a few days ago, but I was too busy to write it/post it. Sorry!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA. I ONLY OWN MY OC, Lumena, WHILE MY FRIEND OWNS HER OC, Kryoto.**

**1/17/13**

Germany asked "Guten Morgen. Have you seen Feli?"

I replied "Nope, sorry. Do you remember where you lost him?"

Germany wrote "Last time I saw him, he was running out the door without pants saying something about mochi. Kryoto left me her phone while she went to ask Japan if he had seen him."

I asked "Have you tried his house or a world food market?"

Germany replied "I was told by a woman with a gun to stay here and run home base. I will do as I was commanded. Unfortunately, no one has seen Kryoto, Kiku, or Italy since 9:00."

I wrote "They're probably all together somewhere and haven't called you yet."

Germany asked "But…Why wouldn't they invite me?"

I replied "They probably didn't want to mess with the lady with the gun."

Germany wrote "I don't recall doing anything to Kryoto. She is practically my sister…"

I wrote back "She absolutely adores you so they probably got a bit busy handling Italy and forgot."

Germany wrote "But we were supposed to make schnitzel this afternoon…"

I virtually pat Germany on the back reassuringly and wrote back **(Lulu: Because I can.)** "It'll be ok Germany."

**MEANWHILE…**

I texted Japan's phone "Where are you Kryoto?"

Kryoto texted back "Backpacking to Tokyo with Italy & Kiku."

I wrote "You forgot Germany."

**BACK TO THE CURRENT CONVERSATION AT HAND…**

Seychelles, somehow gaining Kryoto's phone, asked "Hello, this is Seychelles. Do you know why mister Germany is curled up on the couch with his strudel bear?"

I replied "It's because Italy, Japan, and Kryoto are backpacking to Tokyo and forgot him."

Seychelles wrote "That's rude. I'm sure he would've come along."

I wrote back "I know. I think they just forgot. They had Italy with them and you know how much of a handful he is."

Seychelles wrote "Feli isn't that hard to deal with. Just give him pasta. Although I've heard from Austria, and you didn't hear this from me, that a drunken Italy is very…friendly, if you catch my meaning."

I wrote back "Italy is very hard to handle when cute girls are around. And yes, I've seen Italy when he's drunk and he was rather…friendly to Germany that day."

Seychelles wrote "He's always hard to handle and quite greenbelt with Mr. Germany. I believe Feli is the one that gave Ludwig his strudel bear."

I wrote back "That's probably why Germany takes such good care of the bear. It was a present from his Italy, after all."

Seychelles wrote "Of course. Oh! I hear hiking boots! Kryoto and Italy must be back! I'll just give her phone back."

I wrote "Ok."

Kryoto, being handed her phone back, asked "Sup Lulu, how you doing?"

I replied "I'm fine, but Germany's sad."

Kryoto wrote "Feli just flipped over the couch to glomp Ludwig. Cuteness."

I wrote back "Awww!"

Kryoto wrote "Yeah, Italy missed him too. That's why we came back early. That and China tried to join us and pissed me off."

I asked "How?"

Kryoto answered "Complaining about the mountains being too high, and his wok being too heavy. Wimp."

I asked "Was he flirting with you?"

Kryoto replied "He wouldn't dare."

I asked "Wouldn't dare what?"

Kryoto replied "Flirt with me. He's afraid his panda will leave him for me because Yao likes me better."

I wrote "Poor him."

Kryoto wrote back "My phone's gonna die. Germany must have been watching the sparkle party video on my phone. Again."

I wrote: "Bye."

China, at the last minute, wrote back "zài jiàn aru."

**A sad Germany makes for an adorable Germany, does he not? REVIEW FOR COOKIES *leaves cookies* ALSO, NEXT CHAPTER WE WILL BE HONORING THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE REVIEWED CELLPHONE DRABBLES SO FAR BY PUTTING THEIR NAMES IN THE SPACE BEFORE/AFTER THE NEXT CHAPTER. Bye bye!**

**Translations:**

**zài jiàn (Chinese): Good Bye**


	12. Chapter 12: 1-20-13

**As Promised, here are the people that reviewed our chapters:**

**Emmajoyful**

**Lia Alcona**

**FusososoLaugh**

**PurpleMousefurGomez**

**KoreanPanda**

**KC Marie**

**...We love you all, NOW ON WITH THE SHOW!**

**Random Voice: What show?**

**Lulu: THIS ONE!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA OR BATTLEFIELD 3. I ONLY OWN MY OC, Lumena, WHILE MY FRIEND OWNS HER OC, Kryoto.**

**1/20/13**

Kryoto questioned "Lulu, what's your favorite smell?"

I replied "Usually either vanilla or mint, why?"

Kryoto wrote "Well I have recently decided I like cedar wood and black pepper, so I was gonna go get some. I was just curious. I'll be back."

I wrote back "K."

Russia, having picked up Kryoto's phone, wrote "I like sunflowers and copper."

I wrote back "I know Russia."

Russia questioned "Is this unusual?"

I replied "It wouldn't be normal for anyone else, but for you it seems like something you would expect."

Russia wrote "Da. It's just so soothing. It's so easy to get lost in the red and the smell…ahh…good times."

I questioned "Which time do you mean?"

Russia replied "All of them. Sometimes, when I visit the dungeons, I can almost hear the screams again."

I questioned "Which voices do you hear? You've had many people in your dungeon."

Russia replied "The albino screamed so nicely…from both the chains and beneath me."

I wrote "I remember hearing him at least once, so I know the feeling."

Russia wrote back "I don't recall you being in my home during that time…"

I wrote "Wouldn't have to be near your house; he was screaming loud enough, I could hear him from miles away."

Russia wrote back "I always could play him so well…"

I wrote "Yeah, like an electric guitar."

Canada questioned "Are you saying Russia and Gil were…a thing? o.o he never told me…"

I replied "Nope; after the second world war, when Prussia was 'East Germany', he was captured by Russia until 1989, when Prussia and Germany were reunited."

Canada wrote "He doesn't really talk about that time…he just diverts to pancakes."

I wrote back "Prussia was under Russia's control during that time and it is well known that the former had been constantly tortured by the latter. Not an easy topic."

Canada wrote "I guess but I wish he would trust me. My favorite smell is the ice rink by the way."

I wrote back "It's not that he doesn't trust you Canada, it's just that him talking about his time in captivity is like you talking about your days at the frontlines; neither is an easy subject."

Canada asked "I suppose. Maybe someday How are you Lumena?"

I replied "I'm fine. I got to relax at home and there weren't very many arguments at the U.C.M., so everything is pretty good."

Canada wrote "I'm glad to hear that. I have to go. I have plans for a battle field 3 competition with Alfred and Gil. Good night."

I wrote back "K, good night."

**CHAPTER END! NOW FOR EXPLANATIONS:**

**Explanation 1: Lumena is a very old country, whose birth dates back to a time when Ancient Rome and Germania roamed the earth. The reason that people assume that she is young is because she only started talking with surface-dwellers (A.K.A. you people) in 2011. Lumena was also born with sometimes heightened senses, therefore it makes sense that she was around during the time when Prussia was in Russia's possession and could easily hear his screams from literally miles away.**

**Explanation 2: Prussia was dissolved in the 1940s and the Hetalia character that used to be Prussia became East Germany. After WWII, East Germany was left to the Soviet Union. what happened to Gilbert while he was under Ivan's control is up to the imagination, though everyone assumes that Prussia was tortured by Russia and leaves it at that. In 1989, East Germany (Gilbert) and West Germany (Ludwig) were reunited, with Ludwig staying as Germany and Gilbert being the country who almost died. Gilbert did not die because Canada created New Prussia, which continues to keep Prussia's memory going today, and therefore allows Prussia to live.**


	13. Chapter 13: 1-24-13 Kryoto style!

**K**-I was less than impressed by the reviewer shout out by lulu, so I thought id make my own.

(In the key of C) "We love you, we love you, WE LOVE YOU! You make the sky a lighter shade of blue, the sun shines much brighter when you do, we can tell how much it means for you, to take some time to review!" :D

This fic was brought to you by - Asian Kung-Fu generation and Color bottle**. J-rock!**

on with chapter 13 of Drabbles!

* * *

**We do not only anything but our minds, Ocs and computers, and even that is in dispute….**

* * *

Kryoto wrote "Lulu, I feel naughty…"

I asked "Why?"

Kryoto replied "Alfred pressured me to tell you in class. It feels dangerous."

I wrote "Tell Alfred to peer pressure is bad."

America wrote back "IT'S NOT PRESSURE! I'm just persuasive."

Me wrote "Persuasive my ass."

America asked "I was able to make hamburgers the national food didn't I?"

I replied "That wasn't your decision, that was a result of the personal preferences of millions of people."

America wrote "But I created them. McDonalds was invented by the government."

I wrote back "Wasn't that supposed to be a secret?"

America wrote "If you tell anyone I'll come after you with homeland security and the Central park mounted patrol."

I asked "Am I talking to America or 2P America?"

(obviously) 2P America replied "Why the fuck would you think I was that piece of shit reject Wisconsinite? He doesn't have the brain power to convince a rule follower like Kryoto to take a risk. He wouldn't even be able to comprehend the idea of shortening the lower classes life span by corrupting the food market and manipulating the economy. Psh. As if."

I wrote "… But you're talking about hamburgers."

2P America wrote back "You ever have a grilled veggie burger? They're delicious. All that's in a McDonalds burger is fat, grease and kitten meat."

I wrote "I haven't, But I'll take your word for it."

2P America wrote back "See! Even your conforming to the American way of life! Dream, But never do."

I wrote "Exactly."

2P America asked "On another note, did you see Kryoto try to cosplay as my more feminine self? Was hot."

I replied "It probably was Al, it probably was."

2P America wrote "Are you kidding me? That nyotalia shit is hot! I'd tap that."

I asked "You would tap your self?"

2P America replied "What can I say, selfcest is extremely underrated. I'd bang me, If I was, ya know, a chick."

I asked "How did you end up like this? You used to be so normal…"

2P America replied "The hell are you talking about? Normalcy is boring and reserved for 9 to 5ers."

I asked "Isn't 2P England prowling around in your area?"

2P America replied "Not as of last night, hard to prowl with a limp."

I asked "How did you convince him?"

2P America replied "When someone shows up at your front door already hot and bother in a cancan dress, they don't usually need convincing."

I asked "I thought you ripped that dress when you tried, and succeeded in seducing 2P France?"

2P America replied "It's called a fucking sewing machine, when you go to as many Sci-Fi conventions as I do you have to know how to use one." (K- not kidding…)

I asked "How did you find all the pieces? I remember Francis tearing and using them as bondage."

2P America replied "Arthur doesn't know that."

I asked "You bought him a new one, didn't you?"

2P America replied "Maybe. Don't judge me."

I wrote "He was upset about it, so It makes sense; you didn't want to see your Artie cry."

2P America wrote back "One can only wish they had a water park to take advantage of the free water so many times before they fall to communism."

I wrote "Yeah, I guess I can understand that."

2P America wrote back "I got a pissed teacher nagging me. Gotta go. Laters."

I wrote "K, bye… GIVE KRYOTO HER PHONE BACK!"

* * *

**K**-The whole 2P thing is a reference to the blogs, which I HIGHLY suggest looking up. You can get an explination on the cancan dress thing there too. Its opposite flip of the countrys, and super hilarious. Google them up, It would take far to much time to explain, and I could never do them justice.

Notice how 2P America made a lot of odd comments… weird. Sorry if the layouts a bit diffrent, Lulu's usually the one writeing it up. I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

_Reviewer reward_**: **_I'll never make you read my poetry again! ... and can someone tell me the definition of a drabble..._


	14. Chapter 14: 2-9-13 DOUBLE CHAPTER

**We haven't posted for a while, so as an apology, this is a double chapter. Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA OR 2P HETALIA. I ONLY OWN MY OC, Lumena, WHILE MY FRIENDS OWNS HER OC, Kryoto.**

**2/6/13**

I asked "Is Canada taking care of you, Kryoto?"

Canada replied "Shh, she's asleep. Me and Al are taking care of her. Although the…other Al was snooping around which had me worried."

I wrote "2p Al? oh please, he doesn't usually hurt anyone unless they mess with his stuff."

Canada wrote back "Well yeah but…Recently he's had a kinda, unnatural obsession with her. And she's totally defenseless right now."

I wrote "…He must be falling for her then; I pity them both."

Canada wrote back "Well she is quite cute when…never mind. How are the costumes coming? Did you find the fabric you were looking for?"

I asked "Costumes?"

Canada asked "For your anime convention right?"

I replied "Oh right! I think I had something, not sure though…"

Canada asked "Did you find the right pattern for the cape? They can be tricky. I think I might have one laying around from when I made Al a Superman one…"

I replied "No, I had the pattern for it; Al left one of his other capes at one of my above ground homes and told me he didn't want it anymore."

Canada asked "Wow…Did it happen to have a little hockey stick embroidered on the hem?"

I asked "Nope…it's full black. Why do you ask?"

Canada replied "Oh, I just thought he had left the one I made him. He does forget sometimes…Not that I mind of course…Never mind. I need to get Kryoto some more juice, excuse me."

I wrote "Ok."

2p Al wrote "…Kryoto looks so nice all tucked in like this. Is a shame that idiot copy of mine is already here."

I asked "How you doing Al?"

2p Al asked "Fucking awesome right now. You?"

I replied "Not bad, though Kryoto is a little bit worse for wear if you haven't noticed."

2p Al wrote "Her cute, flat, little tummy isn't happy…I wish I could help! Maybe my tofu stew…"

I wrote back "Al, I think soup would be a better option; it's something she could probably digest."

2p Al wrote "Humm…Maybe. Oh crap it's wimpy Mattie. Gotta go!"

I wrote back "Ok, bye."

**2/9/13**

Kryoto wrote "Lulu, I'm trapped in a church! I feel like I'm going to be struck down..."

I asked "Why are you in a church?"

Kryoto replied "Watching a cute little play Austria's putting on. Gilbert invited me. All the little princesses are so cute :D"

I wrote "Kawaii! That still doesn't explain why you're in a church..."

Kryoto wrote back "It's on the stage in their basement. Very cute mash up of fairytales. Sleeping Beauty with amnesia trying to fin her way home."

I asked "Awww! then why did you sound scared before?"

Kryoto replied "Gil told me we were going clubbing after so my clothes are...interesting."

I wrote "...Ok, that makes sense; I would be scared too."

Kryoto wrote back "We're being glared at by PTA moms! Maybe Gil shouldn't have gone for the leather vest..."

I asked "Are you sure their glaring and not just drooling over Gil?"

Kryoto replied "Ehm, that is...half the reason they're glaring is the fact that Roderich is happily being pinned against the wall by a certain Prussian..."

I wrote "Lolz."

Kryoto wrote back " Indeed. I'm gonna pop over there and drag Gil's ass outside. Gimme a sec."

I wrote "Ok."

Austria asked "Ehm, this is Lumena, yes?"

I asked, not knowning who it was "Yes, and who might you be?"

Austria replied "This is Austria."

I wrote "Hello Austria."

Austria asked "Do you happen to know why Gilbert showed up in that atrocious excuse for clothing?"

I replied "He said you guys were going clubbing after the show."

Austria wrote "But there are children present! it was extremely inappropriate behavior!"

I asked "And you think Gil cares because?"

Austria replied "I am aware of his usually...questionable choices, yes, but this was supposed to be the big debute. Now I don't think I'll ever be allowed back in after that wretched display."

I replied "...but you still enjoyed that 'wretched display'..."

Austria wrote "Well yes but...Never mind *blushes*"

I asked ":)...Gil's still going to be punished anyway, isn't he?"

Austria replied "Oh yes. I've no doubt he'll enjoy it though, if you catch my meaning."

I wrote "Lolz."

Austria asked "Well, we've got to finish striking the show before anything else can be done. Did Kryoto mention what club we're going to?"

I replied "No."

Austria wrote "That's inconvenient, I'll just text her quickly."

I wrote back "Okay...though you are using her phone..."

Austria wrote "Oh, um. My mistake. That's embarrassing...I'll just go now. I'm sure Gilly knows."

I wrote back "Ok."

Austria wrote "Have a good evening."

I wrote back "Thank you, you too."

Austria wrote "Indeed."

I wrote back "Hope Gil knows what's coming to him..."

**K-chan: Sorry for the delayed updates, RL sucks, and school work owns our souls. Thanks for sticking with us!**

**Lulu: We'll try to get the next one up faster, so don't give up on us please! those who reviewed, please have some cake *leaves out cake***


	15. Chapter 15: 3-22-13 and 3-23-13

**Lulu: we were gone awhile...so we thought we should post this...also, it was re-done in the past few hours because I was told by a reviewer from somewhere else that it didn't follow the guide-lines because it was in chat/script format. I will be rewriting all the other chapters as well soon, and I promise that they'll be better rewritten than this one...sorry to those of you who probably noticed but didn't say anything.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA, 2P HETALIA, , BLEACH, OR THE 2P HETALIA BLOGS (the event in the chapter is retelling an event currently going on between the 2pAmerica blog of Shadzu! and the 1pCanada blog of Kirono). I MERELY OWN THE OC CHARACTER I CREATED (Lumena) WHILE MY FRIENDS OWN THE OC CHARACTERS THEY CREATED (Kryoto and Faresia)**

**Current Situation: Kryoto has Mono and Canada is taking care of her. meanwhile, there's also 2p America...**

Kryoto and I are currently texting each other. Kryoto has mono and has Canada watching over for, but I still tried to keep her company. We were currently chatting about her condition. "Yes…hopefully you won't have France trying to…take care of you." I said. "I think I'd be ok with that though ;D" Kryoto replied. I chuckled a bit, but also worried for her mental state; this was France! the person she kicked out of her house most of the time for being a perv. "That's true…though what happens if he tries to do more than he did for Iggy?" I asked. "Well, we cross that bridge when we come to it don't we? ;D" Kryoto answered. This made me smile and laugh a bit "Yes, yes we do."

"He he he. Oh no, Canada brought me chocolate ice cream again. It's delicious, but hurts so good. I'm going to let him down gently…" this made me worry a bit more; Kryoto wasn't one to refuse chocolate unless it was chocolate pudding. "Ok…why does it hurt?" i texted.

"Who's hurt? Is someone hurt!? Did Kryoto get worse while I was gone!?" I chuckled a bit, realizing that Canada had probably gotten Kryoto's phone again by mistake. "No Canada, nothing's wrong and nobody's hurt. Kryoto and I were discussing angst Fanfiction." I replied, hoping that would get him off topic. Thankfully, it succeded "Oh, um…Why? They're really sad aren't they?" He asked innocently. It took all I had not laugh; he's much too innocent for his own good! "Yes, yes they are; we read them because they are sad." I replied.

"But that's…Sad!" Poor, innocent Canada. I shook my head at this, smiling none the less. He had much to learn about the world of fanfiction.

"Yes, but Kryoto, Faresia, and I are all sadistic in our own ways, so we read the fanfics to keep our tendencies away." This was true in it's own way; Faresia and I were addicted to the pain of others, and I was pretty sure Kryoto was too. "I don't think Kryoto likes emotionally hurting people…Maybe torturing them, but not making them cry per say…" Canada replied, probably trying to justify her actions; it was actually kind of cute.

"True; that's probably why we also read romance and friendship fanfics." Most of these were actually Hurt/Comfort/Friendship fanfics, but I wouldn't bother trying to explain those.

"I have found a few um…Romance fics *cough coughs* if you know what I mean. She sometimes forgets to close windows on her computer." I pictured Canada on Kryoto's phone, blushing as he remembered the different kinds of K-M fanfics that Kryoto had probably left out in the open on accident.

"And this is why I always close mine." It was always good to keep your tabs closed; especially when you had people that could easily sneak into your room and read over your shoulder. Unlike most people under the sea, I actually enjoyed my privacy.

"Oh no, she always closes them. I tend to accidentally reopen closed tabs. I think her computer doesn't like me much." I smiled at the thought of a computer hating a person, a country no less, but then remembered that computers were unpredictable creatures and decided to play it on the safe-side and agree with him. "That also could be true." I replied.

"Did you know she names it? It's rather scary actually…" Canada texted. I shrugged at this; I had never minded Kryoto's tendency to name inanimate objects, just like I never minded it when Faresia told me that inanimate objects had emotions. It was something normal for our group.

"She's had a few names for it; she's named it Timmy, she's named it Jimmy…" I texted back jokingly.

"I think it's Grimmy right now. She's a bit obsessed with grimmjow from bleach." Canada texted, obviously now just ranting about Kryoto's obsessions.

"I can tell by how many grimmjow x ichigo fanfics she reads." And just how many she would tell me about...

"I did find something rather disturbing the other day involving the alternate, 2p?, Alfred…" 2p? I thought about it for a moment_ What could be disturbing about a 2p? then again...what couldn't be disturbing about a 2p?_ I shuddered then daringly questioned "What happened?"

Um, it was a blog but um…" I immediately knew what he was talking about; there had been an event going between a 1pCanada and a 2pAmerica blog, the latter of which I liked to read whenever it updated.

"One of your blogs didn't listen to 2p Canada about staying away from 2p America." I guessed.

"You mean one of the other me's and his are…you know… 'Together'?" Obviously I had said it the wrong way and freaked him out...oh well, too late to change that now.

"They aren't yet, but they could be if 2p America has anything to say about it." I replied

"But, but, but…I thought he and Kryoto were a…thing…" This was also true; 2pAmerica had been following Kryoto around for a while like a little lost puppy.

"They are, but 2p America is known to go for anyone." I wrote. "That's true, do you think we should warn Kryoto? She doesn't deserve that kind of heartbreak. That and crying would probably make her throat hurt more…" I sighed at Canada's innocent request; Kryoto probably wouldn't want to know that 2pAmerica was most likely cheating on her, but it'd still be nice to let her know.

"Hmm…we probably should warn her, though if she listens as well as you do to 2p Canada, she isn't going to stay away." I helpfully suggested.

"I suppose so. Maybe tell her not to get attached instead?" Canada was still trying to be hopeful; I liked that about him, even if I wasn't truly crushing on him anymore.

"That could work too." I replied

"I had hoped he was a bit more serious this time. I've caught him watching her sleep. It's sort of…creepy cute." That made me think of the words 'Awww' and 'Creeper' at the same time...I just hoped he was only watching her sleeping.

"Yeah…that's just like something he would do." I replied.

"I think it's kind of adorable. I think he really cares about her. When he found out she was sick, he almost beat Francis to a pulp for information." This was a bit cuter than watching her sleep...

"Awwww…that's adorable. Probably hurt for Francis though." for once, I pitied the "frog" as England called him; he was probably beaten up pretty bad.

"He kind of deserved it. Papa was perving over her while she was sleeping on the couch." Okay, pity party over; you're on your own France.

"…Francis doesn't have any morals, does he?" I asked, using France's human name so as to not offend the country itself, though that was contradictory and I wondered why I even bothered.

"Not really. When he found out she had mono he kept teasing her even though she said she didn't kiss anyone. Alfred got a creepy, satisfied grin, then beat his teeth in." Canada replied. I winced, that had to hurt...

"With his bat?" I wrote, wondering how much damage the wooden bat with the barbed wire running over it could actually do.

"Pipe. Maybe Russia's?" Canada wrote back. This thought worried me for obvious reasons.

"He could've stolen it from Russia…though that means Russia's on a rampage looking for it." I warned. Thankfully, Canada seemed to understand "Um…I think I'm going to smuggle us both into the basement quick. She's been watching firefly, so that shouldn't be too hard. There's a New TV in the basement." he texted back

"Awesome, happy hiding!" I wrote.

"You too!" He replied back. I closed my phone, and decided to beef up security...just in case.

**K-chan: Super sorry for the long delay, RL is my mistress. School owns our souls, and therefore takes presidence. I do in fact have mononucleosis, and I did NOT kiss anyone. Because I have nothing better to do with my time, and because we love you, this chapter is born. All I have to say is Captain Mal and 2p America are hot, and see you next time! Kryo out!**


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